Back To School: Part One-What Worked Last Year?

It's hard to believe, but for some, the new school year has started.  I wish all of you a smooth transition into a new school year. 

This is the first post of a two-part series to help refresh the home routine as your child goes back to school.  This week we will identify how to build on last year's success.  Next week we will consider different parts of the home routine that can help set your child up for even more success this year.

Before we get started, I just want to clarify my use of some terms.

I will use "new" and "refreshed" interchangeably.  Most likely your plan will have some similarities to last year's plan.  

"Home routine" and "homework routine" will also be used interchangeably.  It's bigger than just a routine involving homework.

Getting ready for school in the morning can be a part of a home routine related to school.  Any parts of leaving school, transitioning back home, doing homework, participating in activities, having downtime and getting ready for bed can become a routine.  Sometimes I'll call it a "home routine" and other times a "homework routine".  

So let's get started.

If your family is like most, in a blink of an eye the school year ends and summer break begins.  No transition whatsoever. 

 Yet, your child made significant growth, not only in academic skills but also in personal skills.  Growth that is worth noting and recognizing. 

You can increase the success level for starting this coming school year by acknowledging what parts of last year's home routine worked and what parts didn't.

As the summer comes to a close and you begin preparing for back to school, you have another opportunity to get your child's perspective on last year.  Here's a simple 4-step plan to claim your child's accomplishments from last school year.  Just a reminder, we're focusing on home routines and responsibilities related to school, both before and after school. 

1.  Before your child goes back to school, do some reflection of your own about homework and responsibilities related to school:  Ask yourself these two questions:

• What home routines did your child do independently last year?
• What home routines would you like your child to do more independently?

As you think about these two questions, be aware of the various levels of independence that can exist for any given routine. 

For example, a child may be very independent at completing homework on his own.  But, perhaps he still needs a couple reminders to start and then also needs help gathering supplies.  In this example, we could say he is independent at completing the homework and could become more independent at gathering his own supplies and self-starting at the designated time.  There are many different ways to set him up for such success.  But for now, we can at least identify these two potential areas where he could expand his level of independence. 

2.  Prepare a positive tone, or even celebratory setting, to ask your child for his opinions about last school year's home routines (Step 3). 

It might seem a bit late to celebrate your child’s accomplishments from last school year, but better late than never.  If it makes you feel better, you could combine it with a back to school celebration to mark the start of a new school year. 

Think about how we celebrate birthdays and team wins.  Think about how much attention we give to performances in talent shows, recitals and competitions.  Try to match that level of enthusiasm when your child finishes a school year.  Not just the milestone years like the end of elementary school, middle school and high school, but each and every year.

Growth happens in little steps that can be missed unless you are watching for them.  Acknowledge and celebrate those little steps!

Celebrating the end of a school year can look a million different ways.  I'll list just a few to help jumpstart your thinking. 

• First, be sure to tell your child the plan to celebrate his accomplishments from last year in preparation for starting this year.  Let him know that you've chosen a certain activity to do as the celebration and in combination with the celebration you are going to "interview" him like he's a rock star (or whatever type of star your child would enjoy pretending to be).
• Choose an activity: 
• Most kids like to go shopping to buy things for themselves.  Tell your child you are taking him shopping for a picture frame one of her favorite pieces of work from last school year.  She gets to pick it out.  This won't excite every child, so keep reading down the list until you find something your child will enjoy or come up with that perfect way to celebrate that will excite your child.  By now, all evidence of last year's school work may have been recycled.  If that's the case, choose a different idea.
• Cook their favorite meal or dessert to celebrate your child's accomplishments from last year.  Decide if you will 'interview' your child during the meal, between the meal and dessert, during dessert or after (see Step 3).
• If your child enjoys to 'ham it up', set up a quick recording studio (backdrop, special chair and pretend microphone) and record the interview as if you are interviewing someone famous.  Your child can even 'dress up' and act like the famous person of their choice.  Actually record it and then watch it together while eating popcorn.
• Give your child a card (make or purchase) to tell them some of the things she did last year that made you especially proud.  Then, ask your child about her most notable experiences.  
• Write your interview questions on cards, to make a small deck of cards.  Shuffle the cards so the order of the questions is random.  Turn over one card at a time, making the interview feel more like a game.  Keep the cards to use at the end of each school year and add questions too.
• Add 'parent' cards to the above deck.  Prompts about the homework routine, like, "Something you did that I think was responsible," "Something you did that I think was creative," "Something you did that made me proud of you", "Something you did that demonstrated effort", "Something you now do much better than before last school year", "My favorite homework assignment that you had last year."

The options for celebrating last school year are endless.  Of course, you can add some money to the cause by taking the celebration on the road.  Take your child to a place he really enjoys -going out for his favorite fast food, dine-in restaurant or activity. 

The point is, celebrate in a way that your child will think is fun and special.  Match the celebration to your child's personality, it has to be something he will buy into. 

Pair together the celebration and interview so your child understands she is being celebrated while also helping to decide what her home routines will look like before/afterschool during the upcoming school year.

3.  Ask your child questions about home routines related to school.  Depending on your child's personality, you may want to preface the conversation with clarification -this is about them, not other people -not their classmates or teachers.  You are looking for insight into their own actions, choices, likes and dislikes, not the actions and choices of others. 

Write down the insight your child offers.  By taking notes, it demonstrates you are listening and you value your child's opinion. 

Here are some examples of questions to get you started. 

• "To prepare for going back to school, let's talk about last year.  What accomplishments from last school year are you most proud of?"  After your child responds, suggest that accomplishments aren't only things you do very well but can also be something you no longer do -for whatever reason. Ask if she knows of anything she no longer does.
• "What parts of your school related routine at home did you do very well?"
• "What parts of your school related routine at home do you think was most difficult, troublesome or annoying?"
• "What did you like about your after school routine?  Would you like to continue it as a part of your routine this year?"
• "What part of last year's after school routine would you like to do differently?  How so?"
• "What did you like about your before school routine?  Would you like to continue it as a part of your routine this year?"
• "What part of last year's before school routine would you like to do differently?  How so?"
• "Homework is homework, like it or not.  Would you rather do your homework as soon as you come home, or have a break before starting?"  (Insert the options that are possible in your household’s schedule…before/after dinner…before/after I come home from work…)  After your child shares his perspective, offer your own.  It's valuable for your child to look at situations from different viewpoints.  Be flexible where you can, offer your reasoning behind the routines you can't flex on. 

4.  Make a plan.  Let your child know that you will work on a new plan in a few days. 

Include your child in the planning process if you'd like.  But, don't jump from your discussion directly to making this year's plan.  Allow some time for you and your child to continue thinking about your discussion.  After a few days, consider asking your child if she's had any further thoughts about last year's routine.  Share any additional insight you may have.

Continuing with our theme of Back To School, next week's post will give you some more ideas for refreshing your child's homework routines.  You may want to wait until the post is available before you finalize your plan. 

Let's create s'more teachable moments, together!

Ron